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Golf and dating don't mix.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Golf
Dating

More quotes by Larry David

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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
Larry David
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
Larry David
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
Larry David
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
Larry David
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
Larry David
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
Larry David
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
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My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
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I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
Larry David
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
Larry David
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Larry David