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Golf and dating don't mix.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Golf
Dating

More quotes by Larry David

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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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