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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Walk
Walks
Actually
Around
Emmy
Emmys
Umpires
Casual
Wherever

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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
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Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
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I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
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Let's not forget, I got divorced.
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