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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
May
Nothing
Curb
Loathe
Hey
Jewish
Fact
Facts
More quotes by Larry David
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
Larry David
Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
Larry David
Obviously comedic styles do change.
Larry David
Golf and dating don't mix.
Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
Larry David
The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.
Larry David
I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David
Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
Larry David
You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
Larry David
My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
Larry David
Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Larry David
I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
Larry David
Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
Larry David
The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Larry David
