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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Trying
Things
Humiliating
Men
Involve
Pants
Suffer
Suffering
Woman
Doesn
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
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Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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