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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Woman
Doesn
Trying
Things
Humiliating
Men
Involve
Pants
Suffer
Suffering
More quotes by Larry David
Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
Larry David
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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You write about what you know.
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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
Larry David
I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
Golf and dating don't mix.
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
