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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Lactose
Tolerate
Like
People

More quotes by Larry David

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When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
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I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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Let's not forget, I got divorced.
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My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
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I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David