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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Wonderful
Funny
Hard
Adjust
Adulthood
Miserable
Childhood
Tough

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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
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