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My ancestors were all Freethinkers, formerly Catholics. It was science and Darwin, in particular, that made them decide, as educated people, which they were, that the priest, nice as he was, didn't know what he was talking about.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
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Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
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More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut
Life is no way to treat an animal.
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There are lots of things worth doing that are no way to make a living. They are agreeable ways to make a more agreeable life.
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I think William Shakespeare was the wisest human being I ever heard of. To be perfectly frank, though, that's not saying much.
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Much of the conversation in the country consisted of lines from television shows, both past and present.
Kurt Vonnegut
Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.
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Ink and paper are as cheap as sand or water, almost. No board of directors has to convene in order to decide whether we can afford to write down this or that. I myself once staged the end of the world on two pieces of paper- at a cost of ...less than a penny, including wear and tear on my typewriter ribbon and the seat of my pants. 'Think of that.
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if there is a god, he sure hates people
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If what Billy Pilgrim learned from the Tralfamadorians is true, that we will all live forever, no matter how dead we may sometimes seem to be, I am not overjoyed. Still--if I am going to spend eternity visiting this moment and that, I'm grateful that so many of those moments are nice.
Kurt Vonnegut
She believed, and was entitled to believe, I must say, that all human beings were evil by nature, whether tormentors or victims, or idle standers-by. They could only create meaningless tragedies, she said, since they weren't nearly intelligent enough to accomplish all the good they were meant to do.
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I'm eighty-three and I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm suing the cigarette company because it promised to kill me and it hasn't.
Kurt Vonnegut
You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
Kurt Vonnegut
For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold. And there certainly was an analogy there: Colds and babies were both caused by germs which loved nothing so much as a mucous membrane.
Kurt Vonnegut
Live while you live, when you're dead you're dead.
Kurt Vonnegut
The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman in the direction of terror, then bringing him back to safety again.
Kurt Vonnegut
The person who writes the bank's commercials is not the person who makes the loans.
Kurt Vonnegut
I do feel that evolution is being controlled by some sort of divine engineer. I can't help thinking that. And this engineer knows exactly what he or she is doing and why, and where evolution is headed. That's why we've got giraffes and hippopotami and the clap.
Kurt Vonnegut
Out in the world I go! Muggers! Autograph hounds! Junkies! People with real jobs! Maybe an easy lay! United Nation functionaries and diplomats!
Kurt Vonnegut
I wasn't aware of Ku Klux Klan as I was aware of the widespread assumption that African-Americans were dumber than white people. I think my father believed that. I think everybody white did.
Kurt Vonnegut
There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
Kurt Vonnegut
The computer revolution has allowed white-collar criminals to do what the Mob would have loved to do - put a pawnshop and a loan shark in every home!
Kurt Vonnegut
