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During the Vietnam War, Abbie Hoffman announced that the new high was banana peels taken rectally. So then FBI scientists stuffed banana peels up their asses to find out if this was true or not.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Scientist
Asses
High
Banana
Taken
Stuffed
War
Bananas
True
Announced
Find
Vietnam
Ass
Peels
Scientists
Hoffman

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.
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You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
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The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.
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Don't worry about your father. He's a perfectly contented, self-sufficient zombie.
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If I was ever to have a child, this is what I'd tell it: 'Child,' I'd say, 'don't never mess with time. Keep now now and then then. And if you ever get lost in thick smoke, child, set still till it clears. Set still till you can see where you are and where you been and where you're going, child.
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I love cell phones. I see people so happy and proud, walking around. Gesturing, you know. I'm like Karl Marx, I'm up for anything that makes people happy.
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My own feeling is that if adultery is wickedness then so is food. Both make me feel so much better afterward.
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Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.
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The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.
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Human beings will believe in all kinds of things that aren't true, and that's okay. And TV is a part of that.
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The arts are not a way to make a living.
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My country is in ruins. So I'm a fish in a poisoned fishbowl. I'm mostly just heartsick about this. There should have been hope. This should have been a great country. But we are despised all over the world now. I was hoping to build a country and add to its literature. That's why I served in World War II, and that's why I wrote books.
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The biggest laughs are based on the biggest disappointments and the biggest fears.
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There was a still life on Billy's bedside table-two pills, an ashtray with three lipstick-stained cigarettes in it, one cigarette still burning, and a glass of water. The water was dead. So it goes. Air was trying to get out of the dead water. Bubbles were clinging to the walls of the glass, too weak to climb out.
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Why were so many Americans treated by their government as though their lives were as disposable as facial tissues? Because that was the way authors customarily treated bit-part players in their made-up tales.
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If it weren't for the message of mercy and pity in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I wouldn't want to be a human being. I would just as soon be a rattlesnake.
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I keep losing and regaining my equilibrium, which is the basic plot of all popular fiction. And I myself am a work of fiction.
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Our government's got a war on drugs. That's certainly better than no drugs at all.
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Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery.
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Never index your own book.
Kurt Vonnegut