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All the great story lines are great practical jokes that people fall for over and over again.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Fall
Stories
Great
People
Practicals
Practical
Jokes
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More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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My God, the religious right will not acknowledge what a merciful person Jesus was.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The Fourteenth Book is entitled, What can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years? It doesn't take long to read The Fourteenth Book. It consists of one word and a period. This is it: Nothing.
Kurt Vonnegut
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She upset Billy simply by being his mother. She made him feel embarrassed and ungrateful and weak because she had gone to so much trouble to give him life, and to keep that life going, and Billy didn't really like life at all.
Kurt Vonnegut
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It shook up Trout to realize that even he could bring evil into the world — in the form of bad ideas.
Kurt Vonnegut
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How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I go on many thrilling adventures and wondrous, profound escapades through books.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I love cell phones. I see people so happy and proud, walking around. Gesturing, you know. I'm like Karl Marx, I'm up for anything that makes people happy.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.
Kurt Vonnegut
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We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Of course I love you, So let's have a kid. Who will say exactly What its parents did Of course I love you, So let's have a kid. Who will say exactly What its parents did 'Of course I love you, So let's have a kid Who will say exactly What its parents did -' Et cetera. -NOBLE CLAGGETT (1947-1966)
Kurt Vonnegut
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That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.
Kurt Vonnegut
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You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers.
Kurt Vonnegut
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There was a still life on Billy's bedside table-two pills, an ashtray with three lipstick-stained cigarettes in it, one cigarette still burning, and a glass of water. The water was dead. So it goes. Air was trying to get out of the dead water. Bubbles were clinging to the walls of the glass, too weak to climb out.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The death of a library, any library, suggests that the community has lost its soul.
Kurt Vonnegut
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On the day they dropped the bomb Frank had a tablespoon and a Mason jar. What he was doing was spooning different kinds of bugs into the jar and making them fight....I can remember other bug fights we staged later on...They won't fight unless you keep shaking the jar.
Kurt Vonnegut
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There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
Kurt Vonnegut