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We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Wave
Away
Seems
Always
Kidding
Attacked
Als
Flags
Scare

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Only in books do we learn what’s really going on.
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And what gift of America to the rest of the world is actually most appreciated by the rest of the world? It is African American jazz and its offshoots. What is my definition of jazz? Safe sex of the highest order.
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And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.
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Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.
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I couldn't survive my own pessimism if I didn't have some kind of sunny little dream.
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In the middle of Siberia I guess there's a lake that big [ like the Great Lakes], but there are practically no other lakes that big with fresh water.
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The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman in the direction of terror, then bringing him back to safety again.
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The Bible may be the Greatest Story Ever Told, but the most popular story you can ever tell is about a good-looking couple having a really swell time copulating outside wedlock, and having to quit for one reason or another while doing it is still a novelty.
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Jack Benny, Fred Allen. Their jokes were wonderful. It takes skill to be funny. The timing of Jack Benny was so fine. It is a form of genius for which we should be grateful.
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One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
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There is a strong feeling in the Middle West that the artist is not pulling his own weight no matter how hard he may work, that the other people are doing the real stuff.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Our government's got a war on drugs. That's certainly better than no drugs at all.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I had a friend who was a heavy drinker. If somebody asked him if he'd been drunk the night before, he would always answer offhandedly, 'Oh, I imagine.' I've always liked that answer. It acknowledges life as a dream.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
Kurt Vonnegut
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There is this feeling that I have a destiny far away from the shallow and preposterous posing that is our life.
Kurt Vonnegut
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They like life alright, but that they would like it even better if they could know that it was going to end sometime.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Nietzsche had a little one-liner on how to choose a wife. He said, ''Are you willing to have a conversation with this woman for the next forty years?'' That's how to pick a wife.
Kurt Vonnegut
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One [television] program was an interminable exploration of the question: can a woman with a low I.Q. be happily married to a man with a high one? The answer seemed to be yes and no.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I couldn't help wondering if that was what God put me on Earth for--to find out how much a man could take without breaking.
Kurt Vonnegut
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It's perfectly ordinary to be a socialist. It's perfectly normal to be in favor of fire departments.
Kurt Vonnegut