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The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
News
Congregation
Dead
Umpires
Enemy
Corpses
Theoretical
Umpire
Meal
Spotted
Meals
Theoretically
Laughed
Comical
Air
Hearty

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Evolution is a mistake. Humans are a mistake. We've destroyed our planet.
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If I wrote something that hadn't really happened, and I tried to sell it, I could go to jail. That's fraud!
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Man is vile, and man makes nothing worth making, knows nothing worth knowing.
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The big show is inside my head.
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Never index your own book.
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Each one of us has to be what he or she is.
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Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.
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It's a terrible waste to be happy and not notice it.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Trout was petrified there on Forty-second Street. It had given him a life not worth living, but I had also given him an iron will to live. This was a common combination on the planet Earth.
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I just know that there are plenty of people who are in terrible trouble and can't get out. And so I'm impatient with those who think that it's easy for people to get out of trouble.
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I love cell phones. I see people so happy and proud, walking around. Gesturing, you know. I'm like Karl Marx, I'm up for anything that makes people happy.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Smoking is the only honorable form of suicide.
Kurt Vonnegut
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...this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought, so eager to believe and snarl and hate.
Kurt Vonnegut
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What I would really like to have been, given a perfect world, is a jazz pianist. I mean jazz. I don't mean rock and roll. I mean the never-the-same-twice music the American black people gave the world.
Kurt Vonnegut
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A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society.
Kurt Vonnegut
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And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Children get smashed for hours on some strictly limited aspect of the Great Big Everything, the Universe, such as water or snow or mud or colors or rocks.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The polls demonstrate that 50 percent of Americans who get their news from TV think Saddam Hussein was behind the Twin Towers attack. Man, have they got ways for getting half-truths out right away now, thanks to TV! I think TV is a calamity in a democracy.
Kurt Vonnegut