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The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Meal
Spotted
Meals
Theoretically
Laughed
Comical
Air
Hearty
News
Congregation
Dead
Umpires
Enemy
Corpses
Theoretical
Umpire

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I wanted all things to seem to make some sense, So we could all be happy, yes, instead of tense. And I made up lies, so they all fit nice, and I made this sad world a paradise
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Hate, in the long run, is about as nourishing as cyanide.
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The painting was framed in a misty view of sky, sea, and valley. Newt's painting was small, black, and warty. It consisted of scratches made in a black, gummy impasto. The scratches formed a sort of spider's web, and I wondered if they might not be the sticky nets of human futility hung up on a moonless night to dry.
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. . . hummings and clickings could be heard-the sounds attendant to the flow of electrons, now augmenting one maze of electromagnetic crises to a condition that was translatable from electrical qualities and quantities to a high grade of truth.
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And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.
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George Bush and his gang imagine they are being political geniuses.
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Human beings will believe in all kinds of things that aren't true, and that's okay. And TV is a part of that.
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I love you, Eliza,” I said. She thought about it. “No,” she said at last, “I don’t like it.” “Why not?” I said. “It’s as though you were pointing a gun at my head,” she said. “It’s just a way of getting somebody to say something they probably don’t mean. What else can I say, or anybody say, but, ‘I love you, too’?
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Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.
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Artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive. They are supersensitive. They keel over like canaries in coal mines filled with poison gas, long before more robust types realize that any danger is there.
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I just don't think people get off on language anymore. Language used to be an elevated art. It used to be for people what music can be. But people don't learn to do that anymore, so eloquence is merely a matter of waste. Who needs a good vocabulary and proper English? Eloquence - it's dead and who needs it?
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The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers.
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Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead.
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The Fourteenth Book is entitled, What can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years? It doesn't take long to read The Fourteenth Book. It consists of one word and a period. This is it: Nothing.
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Don't worry about your father. He's a perfectly contented, self-sufficient zombie.
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People need good lies. There are too many bad ones.
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If you would be unloved and forgotten, be reasonable.
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When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.
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How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
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I am an atheist (or at best a Unitarian who winds up in church quite a lot).
Kurt Vonnegut