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I'm eighty-three and I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm suing the cigarette company because it promised to kill me and it hasn't.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Three
Eighty
Promised
Cigarette
Hasn
Smoking
Kill
Since
Suing
Company
Eleven

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Jack Benny, Fred Allen. Their jokes were wonderful. It takes skill to be funny. The timing of Jack Benny was so fine. It is a form of genius for which we should be grateful.
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After that demonstration everybody was thinking, what's going to happen to these wonderful men who have been so useful to us? We have to give people something to do with life.
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Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.
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Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is.
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War is now a form of TV entertainment, and what made the First World War so particularly entertaining were two American inventions, barbed wire and the machine gun.
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People need good lies. There are too many bad ones.
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Nowadays, of course, just about our only solvent industry is the merchandising of death, bankrolled by our grandchildren.
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The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.
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Powers Hapgood had just come from court because there was some kind of dust-up on a picket line. The judge was so curious about him - coming from a rich family - why he would choose to live as he had. I guess you know what his answer was ...The Sermon on the Mount, sir. That's important.
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If I wrote something that hadn't really happened, and I tried to sell it, I could go to jail. That's fraud!
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I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, Please - a little less love, and a little more common decency.
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Son--they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.
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The Fourteenth Book is entitled, What can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years? It doesn't take long to read The Fourteenth Book. It consists of one word and a period. This is it: Nothing.
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There were creative-writin g teachers long before there were creative-writin g courses, and they were called and continue to be called editors.
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I hate it that Americans are taught to fear some books and some ideas as though they were diseases.
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The triumph of anything is a matter of organization.
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The reason we write fiction is because it's so much easier to exist spending part of each day in an imaginary world.
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You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.
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She hated people who thought too much. At that moment, she struck me as an appropriate representative for almost all mankind.
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Nobody will stop you from creating. Do it tonight. Do it tomorrow. That is the way to make your soul grow.
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