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I'm eighty-three and I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm suing the cigarette company because it promised to kill me and it hasn't.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Since
Suing
Company
Eleven
Three
Eighty
Promised
Cigarette
Hasn
Smoking
Kill

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Jokes can be noble. Laughs are exactly as honorable as tears. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, to the futility of thinking and striving anymore. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward - and since I can start thinking and striving again that much sooner.
Kurt Vonnegut
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As Marilee and I were dressing, I whispered to her that I loved her with all my heart. What else was there to say? 'You don't. You can't,' she said.
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She believed, and was entitled to believe, I must say, that all human beings were evil by nature, whether tormentors or victims, or idle standers-by. They could only create meaningless tragedies, she said, since they weren't nearly intelligent enough to accomplish all the good they were meant to do.
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Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantaloupe, there is so little information in my face, but my heart is beating.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.
Kurt Vonnegut
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No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.
Kurt Vonnegut
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My ancestors came over from Germany about the time of the Civil War and one of them lost a leg and went back to Germany.
Kurt Vonnegut
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America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Man is vile, and man makes nothing worth making, knows nothing worth knowing.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo
Kurt Vonnegut
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My God, the religious right will not acknowledge what a merciful person Jesus was.
Kurt Vonnegut
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It's perfectly ordinary to be a socialist. It's perfectly normal to be in favor of fire departments.
Kurt Vonnegut
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My god-life! who can understand eve one little minute of it? 'don't try' he said 'just pretend you understand.
Kurt Vonnegut
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But he is tired. He puts the pistol to his head again. He says, “I never asked to be born in the first place.
Kurt Vonnegut
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One of the things I'm going to say out there is how grateful I am - and how grateful the world is - for the tremendous gift of the black people, of jazz.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Be patient. Your future will come to you and lie down at your feet like a dog who knows and loves you no matter what you are.
Kurt Vonnegut
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All people are insane. They will do anything at any time, and God help anybody who looks for reasons.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Hitler at the end thought that he himself was one more casualty in the war.
Kurt Vonnegut