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Son--they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
United
Smelling
Fall
Royalty
Tell
Hole
America
Holes
States
King
Come
Rose
Country
Son
Like
Kings
Privy

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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We're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive. It's pretty dense kids who haven't figured that out by the time they're ten.... Most kids can't afford to go to Harvard and be misinformed.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The system promotes to the top those who don't care about the planet.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I apologize because of the terrible mess the planet is in. But it has always been a mess. There have never been any 'Good Old Days,' there have just been days. And as I say to my grandchildren, 'Don't look at me. I just got here myself.'
Kurt Vonnegut
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Incidentally, I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the great science fiction writer and biochemist Dr. Isaac Asimov. John Updike, who is religious, says I talk more about God than any seminarian. Socialism is, in fact, a form of Christianity, people wishing to imitate Christ.
Kurt Vonnegut
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...Skyscraper National Park
Kurt Vonnegut
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Nothing in this book is true.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I love you, Eliza,” I said. She thought about it. “No,” she said at last, “I don’t like it.” “Why not?” I said. “It’s as though you were pointing a gun at my head,” she said. “It’s just a way of getting somebody to say something they probably don’t mean. What else can I say, or anybody say, but, ‘I love you, too’?
Kurt Vonnegut
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It is time for me to be dead for a little while - and then live again.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I was hoping to build a country and add to its literature. That's why I served in World War II, and that's why I wrote books.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
Kurt Vonnegut
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[People] want to feel superior, so they imagine we're Bible thumpers and uneducated and all that.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Poverty is a relatively mild disease for even a very flimsy American soul, but uselessness will kill strong and weak souls alike, and kill every time.
Kurt Vonnegut
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You should be careful about who you pretend to be, because who you pretend to be - is actually who you are!
Kurt Vonnegut
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You can only be funny if you have matters of great importance on your mind.
Kurt Vonnegut
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egregious. most people think that word means terrible or unheard of or unforgivable. it has a much more interesting story than that to tell. it means outside the herd. imagine that - thousands of people, outside the herd.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Literature is the only art in which the audience performs the score.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The world is too serious. To get mad at a work of art-because maybe somebody, somewhere is blowing his stack over what I've done-is like getting mad at a hot fudge sundae.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantaloupe, there is so little information in my face, but my heart is beating.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.
Kurt Vonnegut
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One of [ways being lucky] was to go to school during the Great Depression because teaching became a plum job.
Kurt Vonnegut