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Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Tuxedo
Tuxedos
Invited
Maybe

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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One of the things I'm going to say out there is how grateful I am - and how grateful the world is - for the tremendous gift of the black people, of jazz.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Anyone unable to understand how useful religion can be founded on lies will not understand this book either.
Kurt Vonnegut
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My country is in ruins. So I'm a fish in a poisoned fishbowl. I'm mostly just heartsick about this. There should have been hope. This should have been a great country. But we are despised all over the world now. I was hoping to build a country and add to its literature. That's why I served in World War II, and that's why I wrote books.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
Kurt Vonnegut
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In this world, you get what you pay for.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Is there nothing I have done which will outlive me, other than the opprobrium of my first wife and sons and grandchildren? Do I care? Doesn't everybody? Poor me. Poor practically everybody, with so little durable good to leave behind!
Kurt Vonnegut
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Don't worry about your father. He's a perfectly contented, self-sufficient zombie.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I've been living alone for so long, everything about me’s private. I’m surprised anyone’s able to understand a word I say.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the slightest idea what's really going on.
Kurt Vonnegut
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This is a nation tragedy, of course - that we've changed from a society to an audience.
Kurt Vonnegut
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In 1844, Karl Marx said, Religion is the opiate of the masses. He said this at a time when opium and opium derivatives were the only painkillers. And he said it helped a little. He might as well have said, Religion is the aspirin of the people.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I beg you to believe the most ridiculous superstition of all: that humanity is at the center of the universe, the fulfiller or frustrateor of the grandest dreams of God Almighty.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I am a monopolar depressive descended from monopolar depressives. That's how come I write so good.
Kurt Vonnegut
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kar.a.bek.i.an (n.) (from Rabo Karabekian, U.S. 20th Cent. painter). Fiasco in which a person causes total destruction of own work and reputation through stupidity, carelessness or both.
Kurt Vonnegut
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There was no immunity to cuckoo ideas on Earth.
Kurt Vonnegut
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You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.
Kurt Vonnegut
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It was very exciting for her, taking his dignity away in the name of love.
Kurt Vonnegut
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We're here on Earth to fart around
Kurt Vonnegut
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... humanity deserved to die horribly, since it had behaved so cruelly and wastefully on a planet so sweet.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?
Kurt Vonnegut