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Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Tuxedos
Invited
Maybe
Tuxedo

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Poverty is a relatively mild disease for even a very flimsy American soul, but uselessness will kill strong and weak souls alike, and kill every time.
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I pity the Jews trying to get through life with only half a Bible. That's like trying to get from here to San Francisco with a road map that stops at Dubuque, Iowa.
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Well, it's an ancestral tribe. These were immigrants from north of Germany who came here about the time of the Civil War, but anyway, these people called themselves free thinkers. They were impressed, incidentally, by Darwin. They're called Humanists now people who aren't so sure that the Bible is the Word of God.
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I've been living alone for so long, everything about me’s private. I’m surprised anyone’s able to understand a word I say.
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Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
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As Marilee and I were dressing, I whispered to her that I loved her with all my heart. What else was there to say? 'You don't. You can't,' she said.
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Love is where you find it.
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Take it from somebody who has been around for a million years: When you get right down to it, food is practically the whole story every time.
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I think William Shakespeare was the wisest human being I ever heard of. To be perfectly frank, though, that's not saying much.
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Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.
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What the Gospels actually said was: don't kill anyone until you are absolutely sure they aren't well connected.
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You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.
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I apologize because of the terrible mess the planet is in. But it has always been a mess. There have never been any 'Good Old Days,' there have just been days. And as I say to my grandchildren, 'Don't look at me. I just got here myself.'
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My father said, ‘When in doubt, castle.’
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I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.
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Only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed people ran for class president.
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...Skyscraper National Park
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I have been a writer since 1949. I am self-taught. I have no theories about writing that might help others. When I write, I simply become what I seemingly must become. I am six feet two and weigh nearly two hundred pounds and am badly coordinated, except when I swim. All that borrowed meat does the writing. In the water I am beautiful.
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Being an American means never having to say you're sorry.
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How subservient to Jesus, or to a humane God Almighty, were the leaders of this country back in the 1840's, when Marx said such a supposedly evil thing about religion? They had made it perfectly legal to own human slaves, and weren't going to led women vote or hold public office, God forbid, for another eighty year.
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