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Cigarettes are a classy way to commit suiside.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Cigarette
Commit
Way
Classy
Cigarettes

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What a fool I would have been to let self-respect interfere with my happiness!
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You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
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The paintings by dead men who were poor most of their lives are the most valuable pieces in my collection. And if an artist wants to really jack up the prices of his creations, may I suggest this: suicide.
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I couldn't survive my own pessimism if I didn't have some kind of sunny little dream.
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There is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre.
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In the water I am beautiful.
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That is the first thing I know for sure: (1.) If the questions don't make sense, neither will the answers.
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The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again. There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.
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The Fourteenth Book is entitled, What can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years? It doesn't take long to read The Fourteenth Book. It consists of one word and a period. This is it: Nothing.
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In 1844, Karl Marx said, Religion is the opiate of the masses. He said this at a time when opium and opium derivatives were the only painkillers. And he said it helped a little. He might as well have said, Religion is the aspirin of the people.
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The dog, who had sounded so ferocious in the winter distances, was a female German Shepherd. She was shivering. Her tail was between her legs. She had been borrowed that morning from a farmer. She had never been to war before. She had no idea what game was being played. Her name was Princess.
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Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.
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My ancestors were all Freethinkers, formerly Catholics. It was science and Darwin, in particular, that made them decide, as educated people, which they were, that the priest, nice as he was, didn't know what he was talking about.
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... humanity deserved to die horribly, since it had behaved so cruelly and wastefully on a planet so sweet.
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Why throw money at problems? That is what money is for. Should the nation's wealth be redistributed? It has been and continues to be redistributed to a few people in a manner strikingly unhelpful.
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I'm wild again, beguiled again, a whimpering, simpering child again. Bewitched, bothered, bewildered am I.
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Is there nothing I have done which will outlive me, other than the opprobrium of my first wife and sons and grandchildren? Do I care? Doesn't everybody? Poor me. Poor practically everybody, with so little durable good to leave behind!
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If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?
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I've got news for Mr. Santayana: we're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive.
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Thank God for novelists. Thank God there are people willing to write everything down. Otherwise, so much would be forgotten.
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