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Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Kind
Way
Like
Committing
Suicide
Days
American
Jobs
Seems

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I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.
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I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.
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I'm so sorry - we had this cottage up in Lake Maxinkuckee, in Culver. I've thought so often of the poor Pottawattomies we took this land away from. They must have loved it so.
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Incidentally, I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the great science fiction writer and biochemist Dr. Isaac Asimov. John Updike, who is religious, says I talk more about God than any seminarian. Socialism is, in fact, a form of Christianity, people wishing to imitate Christ.
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Farewell, hello, farewell, hello.
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You know, the Emancipation Proclamation was like giving freedom to domestic animals.
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Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier.
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People would be surprised if they knew how much in this world was due to prayers.
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There is no good reason good can't triumph over evil, if only angels will get organized along the lines of the mafia.
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You are being suffocated by tradition... Why don't you say, 'I am going to build a life for myself, for my time, and make it a work of art'? Your life isn't a work of art ---it's a thirdhand Victorian whatnot shelf, complete with someone else's collection of seashells and hand-carved elephants.
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The system promotes to the top those who don't care about the planet.
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Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.
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Every sentence must do one of two things-reveal character or advance the action.
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Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
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Human beings will believe in all kinds of things that aren't true, and that's okay. And TV is a part of that.
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When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that?
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Honest to God, Bill, the way things are going, all I can think of is that I'm a character in a book by somebody who wants to write about somebody who suffers all the time.
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The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who'd really fought.
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. . . but the Universe is an awfully big place. There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.
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The gun made a ripping sound like the opening of a zipper on the fly of God Almighty.
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