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Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, she never thought of her awful luck as being anything but accidents in a very busy place. Good for her.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Religious
Alice
Place
Instruction
Thought
Received
Anything
Accidents
Good
Awful
Never
Busy
Life
Luck
Since
Blameless

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All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
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What's going to happen is, very soon, we're going to run out of petroleum, and everything depends on petroleum. And there go the school buses. There go the fire engines. The food trucks will come to a halt. This is the end of the world.
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The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.
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The library is full of stories of supposed triumphs which makes me very suspicious of it. It's misleading for people to read about great successes, since even for middle-class and upper-class white people, in my experience, failure is the norm.
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They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.
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No one can amount to a damn in the arts if he becomes sweetly reasonable, seeing all sides of a picture, forgiving all sins.
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As stupid and vicious as men are, this is a lovely day.
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I think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies, or people just aren't going to want to go on living.
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To whom it may concern: It is springtime. It is late afternoon.
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I went to high school in Indianapolis I learned how to walk around looking tough because everybody had to do that. I go out there occasionally and they're still doing it, walking around looking very tough because something might happen.
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Farewell, hello, farewell, hello.
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You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.
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The proper ending for any story about people it seems to me, since life is now a polymer in which the Earth is wrapped so tightly, should be the same abbreviation, which I now write large because I feel like it, which is this one: ETC.
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We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.
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You know who was a hero? Franklin Roosevelt.
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Montana was naked, and so was Billy, of course. He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who'll get one.
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I went to New York to be born again. And when the train plunged into a tunnel under New York City, with its lining of pipes and wires, I was out of the womb and into the birth canal.
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I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.
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I do not say that children at war do not die like men, if they have to die. To their everlasting honor and our everlasting shame, they do die like men, thus making possible the manly jubilation of patriotic holidays. But they are murdered children all the same.
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If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC
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