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Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Writing
College
Hermaphrodites
Creative
Transvestite
Show
Transvestites
Use
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Shows
Lesson
Firsts
Rule
Nothing
Absolutely
First
Lessons
Semicolons

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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But he is tired. He puts the pistol to his head again. He says, “I never asked to be born in the first place.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Educate yourself, welcome life's messiness, read Chekhov, avoid becoming an architect at all costs.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Roses are red, And ready for plucking, You're sixteen, And ready for high school.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The dog, who had sounded so ferocious in the winter distances, was a female German Shepherd. She was shivering. Her tail was between her legs. She had been borrowed that morning from a farmer. She had never been to war before. She had no idea what game was being played. Her name was Princess.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an adult conversation.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.
Kurt Vonnegut
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One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.
Kurt Vonnegut
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You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.
Kurt Vonnegut
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One [television] program was an interminable exploration of the question: can a woman with a low I.Q. be happily married to a man with a high one? The answer seemed to be yes and no.
Kurt Vonnegut
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There was a still life on Billy's bedside table-two pills, an ashtray with three lipstick-stained cigarettes in it, one cigarette still burning, and a glass of water. The water was dead. So it goes. Air was trying to get out of the dead water. Bubbles were clinging to the walls of the glass, too weak to climb out.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The function of the artist is to make people like life better than they have before.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I couldn't survive my own pessimism if I didn't have some kind of sunny little dream.
Kurt Vonnegut
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For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold. And there certainly was an analogy there: Colds and babies were both caused by germs which loved nothing so much as a mucous membrane.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Hate, in the long run, is about as nourishing as cyanide.
Kurt Vonnegut
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It's only recently that I've come to understand that writers are not marginal to our society, that they, in fact, do all our thinking for us, that we are writing myths and our myths are believed, and that old myths are believed until someone writes a new one.
Kurt Vonnegut
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. . . but the Universe is an awfully big place. There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Pretend to be good always and even God will be fooled.
Kurt Vonnegut