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Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Shows
Lesson
Firsts
Rule
Nothing
Absolutely
First
Lessons
Semicolons
Writing
College
Hermaphrodites
Creative
Transvestite
Show
Transvestites
Use
Representing

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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What is my definition of jazz? Safe sex of the highest order.
Kurt Vonnegut
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If there really had been a Mercutio, and if there really were a Paradise, Mercutio might be hanging out with teenage Vietnam draftee casualties now, talking about what it felt like to die for other people's vanity and foolishness.
Kurt Vonnegut
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They like life alright, but that they would like it even better if they could know that it was going to end sometime.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Of course, socialism is just evil now. It's completely discredited supposedly by the collapse of the Soviet Union, but I can't help noticing that my grandchildren are heavily in hock to Communist China now which is evidently a whole lot better at business than we are.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I have told my sons that they are not under any circumstances to take part in massacres, and that the news of massacres of enemies is not to fill them with satisfaction or glee. I have also told them not to work for companies which make massacre machinery, and to express contempt for people who think we need machinery like that.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I wish you'd help me look into a more interesting problem - namely, my sanity.
Kurt Vonnegut
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My own feeling is that if adultery is wickedness then so is food. Both make me feel so much better afterward.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery.
Kurt Vonnegut
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[People] want to feel superior, so they imagine we're Bible thumpers and uneducated and all that.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I love cell phones. I see people so happy and proud, walking around. Gesturing, you know. I'm like Karl Marx, I'm up for anything that makes people happy.
Kurt Vonnegut
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We were all gun nuts and they were called varmints, crows were, because they ate grain and so did we.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Trout, incidentally, had written a book about a money tree. It had twenty-dollar bills for leaves. Its flowers were government bonds. Its fruit was diamonds. It attracted human beings who killed each other around the roots and made very good fertilizer.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Hate, in the long run, is about as nourishing as cyanide.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I love you, because the love you gave me was the only love I've ever had, the only love I ever will have
Kurt Vonnegut
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Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Talent is extremely common. What is rare is the willingness to endure the life of the writer.
Kurt Vonnegut
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If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
Kurt Vonnegut
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[I write] intuitively, reflexively, as if skiing down a steep mountain slope with no time to think.
Kurt Vonnegut