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Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Shows
Lesson
Firsts
Rule
Nothing
Absolutely
First
Lessons
Semicolons
Writing
College
Hermaphrodites
Creative
Transvestite
Show
Transvestites
Use
Representing

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.
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Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo
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Roses are red, And ready for plucking, You're sixteen, And ready for high school.
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After the thing went off, after it was a sure thing that America could wipe out a city with just one bomb, a scientist turned to Father and said, 'Science has now known sin.' And do you know what Father said? He said, 'What is sin?
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It seems to me that the most universal revolutionary wish now or ever is a wish for heaven, a wish by a human being to be honored by angels for something other than beauty or usefulness.
Kurt Vonnegut
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There were creative-writin g teachers long before there were creative-writin g courses, and they were called and continue to be called editors.
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We're a terribly lonesome society. For all I know, all societies are. You can make a few new friends, that's all. You can't change history. History is happening to us now.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I'm odd, I know,' he said. 'It's fear of myself that's made me odd.
Kurt Vonnegut
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People are lying all the time as to what a murderous nation we are. So let it be known. We're behaving abominably. It's like having a relative go absolutely nuts. Somebody has to say, I think Uncle Charlie's off his rocker. We are behaving in a bizarre manner.
Kurt Vonnegut
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We're not too young for love, just too young for about everything there is that goes with love.
Kurt Vonnegut
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It goes against the American storytelling grain to have someone in a situation he can't get out of, but I think this is very usual in life.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I can't tell if you're serious or not,' said the driver. I won't know myself until I find out if life is serious or not,' said Trout. 'It's dangerous, I know, and it can hurt a lot. That doesn't necessarily mean it's serious, too.
Kurt Vonnegut
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For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold. And there certainly was an analogy there: Colds and babies were both caused by germs which loved nothing so much as a mucous membrane.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - God damn it, you've got to be kind.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Well here you are, there it is, THIS is what it's all about.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Swoopers write a story quickly, higgledy-piggledy, crinkum-crankum, any which way. Then they go over it again painstakingly, fixing everything that is just plain awful or doesn’t work. Bashers go one sentence at a time, getting it exactly right before they go on to the next one. When they’re done they’re done.
Kurt Vonnegut
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The dog, who had sounded so ferocious in the winter distances, was a female German Shepherd. She was shivering. Her tail was between her legs. She had been borrowed that morning from a farmer. She had never been to war before. She had no idea what game was being played. Her name was Princess.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple.
Kurt Vonnegut
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One [television] program was an interminable exploration of the question: can a woman with a low I.Q. be happily married to a man with a high one? The answer seemed to be yes and no.
Kurt Vonnegut