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Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
Age: 84 †
Born: 1922
Born: November 11
Died: 2007
Died: April 14
Author
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Peace Activist
Philosopher
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
Kurt Vonnegut
Jr.
Shows
Lesson
Firsts
Rule
Absolutely
Nothing
Lessons
Semicolons
First
College
Hermaphrodites
Writing
Creative
Transvestite
Show
Transvestites
Use
Representing

More quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.
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He was a graduate of West Point, which is military academy that turns young men into homicidal maniacs for use in war.
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Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.
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On the day they dropped the bomb Frank had a tablespoon and a Mason jar. What he was doing was spooning different kinds of bugs into the jar and making them fight....I can remember other bug fights we staged later on...They won't fight unless you keep shaking the jar.
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Roses are red, And ready for plucking, You're sixteen, And ready for high school.
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All the great story lines are great practical jokes that people fall for over and over again.
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That’s the attractive thing about war,” said Rosewater. “Absolutely everybody gets a little something.
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If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
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There is this feeling that I have a destiny far away from the shallow and preposterous posing that is our life.
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To whom it may concern: It is springtime. It is late afternoon.
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The person who writes the bank's commercials is not the person who makes the loans.
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Be patient, Ophelia. Love, Hamlet
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There are lots of things worth doing that are no way to make a living. They are agreeable ways to make a more agreeable life.
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The worst thing about film, from my point of view, is that it cripples illusions which I have encouraged people to create in their heads. Film doesn't create illusion. It makes them impossible. It is a bullying form of reality, like the model rooms in the furniture department of Bloomingdale's.
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If what Billy Pilgrim learned from the Tralfamadorians is true, that we will all live forever, no matter how dead we may sometimes seem to be, I am not overjoyed. Still--if I am going to spend eternity visiting this moment and that, I'm grateful that so many of those moments are nice.
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And what is literature, Rabo, he said, but an insider's newsletter about affairs relating to molecules, of no importance to anything in the universe but a few molecules who have the disease called 'thought'.
Kurt Vonnegut
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We are what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Smoking is the only honorable form of suicide.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I never asked to be born in the first place.
Kurt Vonnegut
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Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.
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