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I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Kristen Schaal

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Kristen Schaal
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: January 24
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Longmont
Colorado
Kristen Joy Schaal
Actually
Goat
Funny
Goats
Would
Cheese
Like
Hungry
Warm
Taste
Dill
Humor
Bret
Imagine
Hmm

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I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.
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I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.
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If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?
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You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.
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The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.
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Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?
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As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.
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The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.
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I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.
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I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.
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Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.
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I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!
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One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!
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I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.
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He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.
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I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.
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Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
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All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.
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I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.
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