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I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Kristen Schaal

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Kristen Schaal
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: January 24
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Longmont
Colorado
Kristen Joy Schaal
Imagine
Hmm
Actually
Goat
Funny
Goats
Would
Cheese
Like
Hungry
Warm
Taste
Dill
Humor
Bret

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I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.
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Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.
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I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!
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Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.
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The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.
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Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.
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I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.
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All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.
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If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?
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Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
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He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.
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The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.
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I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.
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I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.
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I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.
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One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!
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You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.
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Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.
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