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Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Eight
Cigars
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Hundred
Cuban
Almost
Cocaine
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Smoke

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
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But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.
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Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...
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This is called spiritual lifting. It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.
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If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like.
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If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.
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I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.
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The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.
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If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
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The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
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If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.
Kinky Friedman
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Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.
Kinky Friedman
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My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
Kinky Friedman
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Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
Kinky Friedman
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Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.
Kinky Friedman
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I'm ready for anything. That's probably why it never happens.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister.
Kinky Friedman
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I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman
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We're going to make that Lone Star shine again.
Kinky Friedman
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I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
Kinky Friedman