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If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Might
Well
Stoned
Gotta
Birds
Bird
Kill
Two
Wells

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.
Kinky Friedman
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Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more.
Kinky Friedman
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I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.
Kinky Friedman
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Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry I'm running against apathy.
Kinky Friedman
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If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!
Kinky Friedman
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I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
Kinky Friedman
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God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.
Kinky Friedman
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Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
Kinky Friedman
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I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.
Kinky Friedman
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May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
Kinky Friedman
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The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump has done.
Kinky Friedman
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But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.
Kinky Friedman
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What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
Kinky Friedman
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I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman
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No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.
Kinky Friedman
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When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.
Kinky Friedman
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You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you.
Kinky Friedman
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If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.
Kinky Friedman