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Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Change
Always
Dallas
Destination
Planes
Hell
Heaven
Whether

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister.
Kinky Friedman
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Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
Kinky Friedman
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My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.
Kinky Friedman
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If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!
Kinky Friedman
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If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.
Kinky Friedman
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I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.
Kinky Friedman
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This is called spiritual lifting. It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.
Kinky Friedman
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They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.
Kinky Friedman
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I'll sign anything except bad legislation.
Kinky Friedman
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Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry I'm running against apathy.
Kinky Friedman
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You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.
Kinky Friedman
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Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
Kinky Friedman
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When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.
Kinky Friedman
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The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.
Kinky Friedman
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My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
Kinky Friedman
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And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.
Kinky Friedman
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Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.
Kinky Friedman
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If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
Kinky Friedman
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How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
Kinky Friedman