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My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
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More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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This is called spiritual lifting. It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.
Kinky Friedman
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Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more.
Kinky Friedman
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The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
Kinky Friedman
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I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of nowhere.
Kinky Friedman
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I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.
Kinky Friedman
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Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.
Kinky Friedman
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I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance.
Kinky Friedman
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I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain.
Kinky Friedman
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We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
Kinky Friedman
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In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a little more time.
Kinky Friedman
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No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.
Kinky Friedman
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If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.
Kinky Friedman
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And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.
Kinky Friedman
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Young people are the key to this election.
Kinky Friedman
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What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
Kinky Friedman
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I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman
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You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you.
Kinky Friedman
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Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
Kinky Friedman
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If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.
Kinky Friedman