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If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Justice
Peace
Firsts
First
Elect
Reduce
Jewish
Speed
Limits

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry I'm running against apathy.
Kinky Friedman
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No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.
Kinky Friedman
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They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.
Kinky Friedman
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Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
Kinky Friedman
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I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
Kinky Friedman
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I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of songwriting.
Kinky Friedman
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Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.
Kinky Friedman
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I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
Kinky Friedman
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You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.
Kinky Friedman
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This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.
Kinky Friedman
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Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
Kinky Friedman
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What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
Kinky Friedman
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If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.
Kinky Friedman
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We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
Kinky Friedman
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I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.
Kinky Friedman
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These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.
Kinky Friedman
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My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
Kinky Friedman
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The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.
Kinky Friedman
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I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.
Kinky Friedman