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If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Reduce
Jewish
Speed
Limits
Justice
Peace
Firsts
First
Elect

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.
Kinky Friedman
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Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.
Kinky Friedman
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I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
Kinky Friedman
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In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a little more time.
Kinky Friedman
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This is called spiritual lifting. It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.
Kinky Friedman
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I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
Kinky Friedman
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The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
Kinky Friedman
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I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
Kinky Friedman
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I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance.
Kinky Friedman
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Young people are the key to this election.
Kinky Friedman
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Happiness is a moving target.
Kinky Friedman
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I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.
Kinky Friedman
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If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.
Kinky Friedman
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Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
Kinky Friedman
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When you record something, you never know who's going to hear it.
Kinky Friedman
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Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry I'm running against apathy.
Kinky Friedman
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The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump has done.
Kinky Friedman
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I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.
Kinky Friedman
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May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
Kinky Friedman
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What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
Kinky Friedman