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I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
Kinky Friedman
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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Needed
High
Scratch
Scratches
Ass
More quotes by Kinky Friedman
Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.
Kinky Friedman
I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
Kinky Friedman
The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty.
Kinky Friedman
In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a little more time.
Kinky Friedman
My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
Kinky Friedman
You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.
Kinky Friedman
God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
Kinky Friedman
There are more inspirational people in music than there are in politics.
Kinky Friedman
This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.
Kinky Friedman
I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.
Kinky Friedman
I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.
Kinky Friedman
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman
I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.
Kinky Friedman
I don't think where people come from is that important. It doesn't matter if you come from reality TV. The question is whether you can inspire people.
Kinky Friedman
We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.
Kinky Friedman
The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
Kinky Friedman
You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.
Kinky Friedman
Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.
Kinky Friedman
I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
Kinky Friedman
I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman
