Quote

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.

Kinky Friedman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Scratch
Scratches
Ass
Needed
High

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

Image
The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.
Kinky Friedman
Image
I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of songwriting.
Kinky Friedman
Image
You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.
Kinky Friedman
Image
Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more.
Kinky Friedman
Image
Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.
Kinky Friedman
Image
The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important.... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas.
Kinky Friedman
Image
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
Kinky Friedman
Image
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman
Image
I don't think where people come from is that important. It doesn't matter if you come from reality TV. The question is whether you can inspire people.
Kinky Friedman
Image
We're going to make that Lone Star shine again.
Kinky Friedman
Image
What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
Kinky Friedman
Image
The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas is big growth because you don't tax people to death.
Kinky Friedman
Image
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
Kinky Friedman
Image
If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like.
Kinky Friedman
Image
And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.
Kinky Friedman
Image
I'll sign anything except bad legislation.
Kinky Friedman
Image
The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
Kinky Friedman
Image
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
Kinky Friedman
Image
Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.
Kinky Friedman
Image
But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.
Kinky Friedman