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We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

Kinky Friedman

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Kinky Friedman
Age: 80
Born: 1944
Born: November 1
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Politician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Race
Executions
Firsts
Mississippi
First
Funding
Execution
Bottom
Public
Education
Winning

More quotes by Kinky Friedman

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My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.
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If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.
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No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.
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I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.
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I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.
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You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
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When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.
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If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.
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Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
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Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.
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Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
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If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.
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The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
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We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.
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I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.
Kinky Friedman
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The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas is big growth because you don't tax people to death.
Kinky Friedman
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My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
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This is called spiritual lifting. It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.
Kinky Friedman
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I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.
Kinky Friedman
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I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.
Kinky Friedman