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Most parents don't worry about a daughter until she fails to show up for breakfast.

Kin Hubbard

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Kin Hubbard
Age: 62 †
Born: 1868
Born: September 1
Died: 1930
Died: December 26
Cartoonist
Humorist
Journalist
Bellefontaine
Ohio
Frank McKinney Hubbard
Parent
Show
Fails
Shows
Breakfast
Daughter
Failing
Parents
Worry
Modern

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Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
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Fun is like life insurance the older you get, the more it costs.
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When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done
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Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.
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I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.
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If at first you do succeed don't take any more chances.
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Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
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The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.
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A loafer always has the correct time.
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Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
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The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
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Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
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Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
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Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
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There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.
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The fellow that calls you 'brother' usually wants something that doesn't belong to him.
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Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.
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Another bad thing about prosperity is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion
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The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
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No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
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