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I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

Kin Hubbard

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Kin Hubbard
Age: 62 †
Born: 1868
Born: September 1
Died: 1930
Died: December 26
Cartoonist
Humorist
Journalist
Bellefontaine
Ohio
Frank McKinney Hubbard
Year
Memory
Expired
Age
Lifetime
Luckily
Stills
Sorry
Inform
Still
Effects
Void
Back
Becomes
Birthday
Heart
Memories
Knees
Years
Courses
Aging
Expires
Course
Effect
Warranty

More quotes by Kin Hubbard

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There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.
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Plain spoken people get most of the recognition because folks are afraid of them.
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Very often the quiet fellow has said all he knows
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In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
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Another bad thing about prosperity is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion
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Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
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The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.
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I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.
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Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
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It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.
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I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.
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When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done
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Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
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Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
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We can tell that a good name is better than riches by those who prefer the riches.
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It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.
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Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They just can't buzz any slower.
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Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
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University: ... a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.
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It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
Kin Hubbard