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Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. What'll you have? the bartender asks. We were thinking him, the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor. Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.

Kiersten White

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Kiersten White
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: June 27
Author
Writer
Utah
United States
Kiersten Brazier
Point
Doctors
Bartender
Strong
Dad
Werewolf
Two
Jokes
Lend
Something
Okay
Vampire
Thinking
Walk
Joke
Eyeing
Like
Walks
Doctor
Setup
Answers
Bars
Werewolves
Asks
Weren
Setups

More quotes by Kiersten White

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Actually, you’re way off.” “Oh?” the guard asked. “Yup. She’s not a werewolf, she’s a chupacabra. Have you noticed a lot of missing goats lately?
Kiersten White
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Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless
Kiersten White
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I let my face go blank and nodded slowly. Yes.The trolls.Back. With me. Cannot form.Complete sentences. I shook my head. Yeah,so not happening. He considered me,annoyed and at a loss for what to do next.I don't kill humans. Me niether!See,common ground already.
Kiersten White
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I've got a nine iron that says otherwise.
Kiersten White
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My life is a black hole of boredom and despair. So basically you've been doing homework. Like I said, black hole.
Kiersten White
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Greed and desire Not peace, but fire Coveting creation Created damnation Pulled alongside A gate thrown too wide Now our home calls And darkness fall I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on.A for effort, ladies, but F for clarity. You do realise that your wierd poem things never explain anything.
Kiersten White
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You wonderful girl. I’ve missed you so much.” “Well, now that we’re both unemployed fugitives, think of how much time we’ll have to hang out!
Kiersten White
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Oh relax. I waved my hand dismissively. If he wanted to kill me, he already would have. I brought him all these sharp pencils, ideal for stabbing, and he's been a perfect gentleman.
Kiersten White
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Evie-you-GAH! Lend shouted, and I looked up at him, surprised.
Kiersten White
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I am the ocean we lived on for two months. I am empty. I am nothing.
Kiersten White
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Be prepared,' that's my motto. He smiled smugly at me. That, and 'Sleep whenever possible.' Oh, and 'If you don't notice it's gone, what's the harm in me taking it?
Kiersten White
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Good luck trying to force Evie to do anything else once she has made up her mind. She is the definition of a stubborn, headstrong teenager.” “And you love me for it.” “I do.
Kiersten White
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And I’d choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.
Kiersten White
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Bleep if I was going to stage a rescue in a freaking pantsuit.
Kiersten White
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Jack furiously chopped vegetables. Captain Dependable! Wait, we vetoed that one. The Divine Door Maker? Too much? Hmm...Handsome Hero, but maybe I should move away from alliteration. Something sleek. Our Lord and Master Jack.
Kiersten White
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We sat down and Lend put his arm around me. Every single jaw at the table dropped. Man, John said, shaking his head. All this time I was pretty sure you were gay.
Kiersten White
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If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you.
Kiersten White
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Fabulous Jack said, reaching down and plucking a crimson flower. A small scream sounded from it as he severed the stem. He smiled maliciously, then started stomping with abandon through the beds of blossoms, a chorus of tinny, shrill screams punctuating every step.
Kiersten White
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Any other iron on you?” he asked impatiently. “Just my tongue stud.” His look was a mixture of curiosity and horror. “I’m kidding, you idiot. Let’s go.
Kiersten White
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Planning is not my friend. Impulse is.
Kiersten White