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Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.

Kevin Nealon

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Kevin Nealon
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 18
Actor
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bridgeport
Connecticut
Vulture
Exactly
Dead
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More quotes by Kevin Nealon

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When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
Kevin Nealon
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I enjoyed living in New York City, I liked the premise of the show [Saturday Night Live], I liked working with a different host every week and different musicians. I always thought, This is great. I never expected to get this in the first place, so I'm just happy being here.
Kevin Nealon
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Saturday Night Live was a show that I never thought I would be on, because I didn't do sketch comedy and I didn't do impressions. I was a stand-up.
Kevin Nealon
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I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.
Kevin Nealon
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What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing.
Kevin Nealon
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I think Little Nicky was a divergence from the films Adam Sandler was used to doing, and he was taking a risk. I admire him for doing that.
Kevin Nealon
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Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
Kevin Nealon
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It's kind of fun when you're playing characters that aren't quite on the up and up and people still like you.
Kevin Nealon
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Bruce was an Eddie Murphy film, so there was a whole different vibe, working on that film, as opposed to working on a [Adam] Sandler film, which I'd done a few of. First of all, there were tons of kids running around. I'm surprised I ever had a kid after doing that film.
Kevin Nealon
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I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn’t see that as a job description anywhere.
Kevin Nealon
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A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
Kevin Nealon
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I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven.
Kevin Nealon
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If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
Kevin Nealon
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I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past.
Kevin Nealon
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A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material.
Kevin Nealon
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I think I sent out some résumés for marketing jobs, and they all came back in the mail because I didn't have enough postage.
Kevin Nealon
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It's tough getting older. You start falling apart, you know? My gums are starting to recede now. You can't tell tonight, though, 'cause I comb them forward.
Kevin Nealon
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I've noticed a surge when I go out somewhere, or if I'm doing stand-up.
Kevin Nealon
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I never really got into marketing. I went to school for it, but never pursued it once I got out. Instead, I went to Europe for about two months, just traveling around in youth hostels and Eurail trains with my friends.
Kevin Nealon
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I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.
Kevin Nealon