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Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.

Kevin Hearne

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Kevin Hearne
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Thinking
Depression
Prison
Keys
Except
Look
Looks
Never
Think

More quotes by Kevin Hearne

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Icy glares from vampires are far icier than icy glares from people and when the vampire giving you an icy glare is originally from Iceland, you're confronted with the archetypal origin of the term, and you shouldn't be surprised if your core body temperature drops a few degrees.
Kevin Hearne
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Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.
Kevin Hearne
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Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.
Kevin Hearne
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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
Kevin Hearne
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He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.
Kevin Hearne
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On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan
Kevin Hearne
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He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.
Kevin Hearne
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... we banked around until we found a rainbow in the dark. It was on this occasion that I discovered that Granuaile had never heard of Ronnie James Dio. My shock at this news was such that I almost completely missed the fact that we were traveling on Bifrost, the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
Kevin Hearne
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I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'.
Kevin Hearne
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Poison? she (Granuaile)said,I hope it isn't iocane powder.
Kevin Hearne
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Granuaile:So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood? Atticus: Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.
Kevin Hearne
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The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.
Kevin Hearne
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When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.
Kevin Hearne
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Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.
Kevin Hearne
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You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
Kevin Hearne
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When in doubt, blame the dark elves.
Kevin Hearne
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If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.
Kevin Hearne
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Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan
Kevin Hearne
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That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” I’ve run into some of those at the dog park, Oberon said. They’re usually attached to Chihuahuas.
Kevin Hearne
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I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.
Kevin Hearne