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Poison? she (Granuaile)said,I hope it isn't iocane powder.

Kevin Hearne

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Kevin Hearne
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Powder
Poison
Hope

More quotes by Kevin Hearne

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There is always a price to pay for badassery. Neo was a badass in the Matrix and the Matrix Reloaded, but the price he had to pay was The Matrix Revolutions.
Kevin Hearne
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I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.
Kevin Hearne
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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
Kevin Hearne
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He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.
Kevin Hearne
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Peace be with you, I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, and asskicking be with me.
Kevin Hearne
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You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
Kevin Hearne
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Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.
Kevin Hearne
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On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan
Kevin Hearne
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I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'.
Kevin Hearne
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Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.
Kevin Hearne
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She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.
Kevin Hearne
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Am I not a fearsome enemy? You frighten me primally.
Kevin Hearne
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That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” I’ve run into some of those at the dog park, Oberon said. They’re usually attached to Chihuahuas.
Kevin Hearne
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I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.
Kevin Hearne
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Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.
Kevin Hearne
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But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.
Kevin Hearne
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Brighid’s eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete with the Morrigan’s red flashes. Maybe I should try to figure out how to make my eyes flash green so I could freak out the baristas at Starbucks. “No, you foolish mortal,” I’d say as my eyes glowed, “I ordered a nonfat latte.
Kevin Hearne
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Flidais clapped her hands in delight. Oh, I bet he nearly shat kine! That made me laugh - I hadn't heard that expression in a long, long time. I refrained from telling her that the modern expression would be he had a cow, because I liked the original better. Yes, the kine he nearly shat would have fed several clans.
Kevin Hearne
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...Having no recourse, I feel back on Shakespeare. Leif would recognize it and understand the context properly. With my remaining few seconds of consciousness, I quoted Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing, who spoke these words to his former friend: you are a Villain: I jest not. and then I collapsed into a pool of my own blood.
Kevin Hearne
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The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.
Kevin Hearne