Quote

He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.

Kevin Hearne

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Kevin Hearne
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Nothing
Solved
World
Nearly
Cry
Rock
Anguished
Rocks
Microphone
Problems
Microphones
Power
Cries
Problem
Chords

More quotes by Kevin Hearne

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I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.
Kevin Hearne
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Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.
Kevin Hearne
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If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.
Kevin Hearne
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The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not. ~Oberon
Kevin Hearne
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You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget they just get too excited.
Kevin Hearne
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... we banked around until we found a rainbow in the dark. It was on this occasion that I discovered that Granuaile had never heard of Ronnie James Dio. My shock at this news was such that I almost completely missed the fact that we were traveling on Bifrost, the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
Kevin Hearne
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The Morrigan’s ideas of sport and mine varied widely. As a Chooser of the Slain, she tends to enjoy nothing so much as a protracted war. She hangs out with Kali and the Valkyries and they have a death goddesses’ night out on the battlefield.
Kevin Hearne
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Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.
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Flidais clapped her hands in delight. Oh, I bet he nearly shat kine! That made me laugh - I hadn't heard that expression in a long, long time. I refrained from telling her that the modern expression would be he had a cow, because I liked the original better. Yes, the kine he nearly shat would have fed several clans.
Kevin Hearne
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Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around.
Kevin Hearne
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Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.
Kevin Hearne
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Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another one?’ I asked. ‘Oh no,’ Jesus said quietly, his eyes growing round. ‘This is one of those situations where I have to stop and ask myself, what would I do?
Kevin Hearne
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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
Kevin Hearne
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I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.
Kevin Hearne
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Peace be with you, I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, and asskicking be with me.
Kevin Hearne
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Poison? she (Granuaile)said,I hope it isn't iocane powder.
Kevin Hearne
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People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.
Kevin Hearne
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As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.
Kevin Hearne
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She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five.
Kevin Hearne
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What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.
Kevin Hearne