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Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan

Kevin Hearne

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Kevin Hearne
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Sullivan
Screw
Screws
Reference
Gods
Anybody
History
Anything
Atticus

More quotes by Kevin Hearne

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Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t believe I have to be politically correct when you’re the only one who can hear me.
Kevin Hearne
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Brighid’s eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete with the Morrigan’s red flashes. Maybe I should try to figure out how to make my eyes flash green so I could freak out the baristas at Starbucks. “No, you foolish mortal,” I’d say as my eyes glowed, “I ordered a nonfat latte.
Kevin Hearne
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Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.
Kevin Hearne
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I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.
Kevin Hearne
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Do Angels have assholes? Atticus O'Sullivan - Hexed
Kevin Hearne
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I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'.
Kevin Hearne
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She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.
Kevin Hearne
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They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.
Kevin Hearne
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Flidais clapped her hands in delight. Oh, I bet he nearly shat kine! That made me laugh - I hadn't heard that expression in a long, long time. I refrained from telling her that the modern expression would be he had a cow, because I liked the original better. Yes, the kine he nearly shat would have fed several clans.
Kevin Hearne
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When in doubt, blame the dark elves.
Kevin Hearne
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If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.
Kevin Hearne
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As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.
Kevin Hearne
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... we banked around until we found a rainbow in the dark. It was on this occasion that I discovered that Granuaile had never heard of Ronnie James Dio. My shock at this news was such that I almost completely missed the fact that we were traveling on Bifrost, the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
Kevin Hearne
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Before he (Francis Bacon) came along, people conducted all their arguments through a series of logical fallacies or simply shouting louder than the other guy, or, if they did use facts, they only selected ones that reinforced their prejudices and advanced their ideas.” Oberon replies “don’t they still do that?
Kevin Hearne
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...Having no recourse, I feel back on Shakespeare. Leif would recognize it and understand the context properly. With my remaining few seconds of consciousness, I quoted Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing, who spoke these words to his former friend: you are a Villain: I jest not. and then I collapsed into a pool of my own blood.
Kevin Hearne
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Poison? she (Granuaile)said,I hope it isn't iocane powder.
Kevin Hearne
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The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not. ~Oberon
Kevin Hearne
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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
Kevin Hearne
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Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.
Kevin Hearne
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Granuaile:So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood? Atticus: Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.
Kevin Hearne