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You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget they just get too excited.

Kevin Hearne

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Kevin Hearne
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Sometimes
Concentrate
Imitation
Dogs
Excited
Dog
Needed
Passable
Respect
Eric
Forget
Reminded

More quotes by Kevin Hearne

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Am I not a fearsome enemy? You frighten me primally.
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What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.
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The Morrigan’s ideas of sport and mine varied widely. As a Chooser of the Slain, she tends to enjoy nothing so much as a protracted war. She hangs out with Kali and the Valkyries and they have a death goddesses’ night out on the battlefield.
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They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.
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As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.
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Peace be with you, I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, and asskicking be with me.
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When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.
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She's kind of like a Mary Poppins just before she turns to the dark side of the Force, Oberon said. He was still behind the counter, but he had a good lok at her as she exited. Let go of your anger, Malina! There's still good in you! The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully!
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Poison? she (Granuaile)said,I hope it isn't iocane powder.
Kevin Hearne
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Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t believe I have to be politically correct when you’re the only one who can hear me.
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Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.
Kevin Hearne
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The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not. ~Oberon
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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
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He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.
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Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.
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There is always a price to pay for badassery. Neo was a badass in the Matrix and the Matrix Reloaded, but the price he had to pay was The Matrix Revolutions.
Kevin Hearne
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Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan
Kevin Hearne
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Do Angels have assholes? Atticus O'Sullivan - Hexed
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She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.
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You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
Kevin Hearne