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Am I not a fearsome enemy? You frighten me primally.
Kevin Hearne
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Kevin Hearne
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Fearsome
Frighten
Enemy
More quotes by Kevin Hearne
Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.
Kevin Hearne
I didn't respond, because naked people never win arguments.
Kevin Hearne
I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.
Kevin Hearne
She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five.
Kevin Hearne
You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
Kevin Hearne
Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.
Kevin Hearne
As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.
Kevin Hearne
You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget they just get too excited.
Kevin Hearne
Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.
Kevin Hearne
Brighid’s eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete with the Morrigan’s red flashes. Maybe I should try to figure out how to make my eyes flash green so I could freak out the baristas at Starbucks. “No, you foolish mortal,” I’d say as my eyes glowed, “I ordered a nonfat latte.
Kevin Hearne
People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.
Kevin Hearne
Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.
Kevin Hearne
Flidais clapped her hands in delight. Oh, I bet he nearly shat kine! That made me laugh - I hadn't heard that expression in a long, long time. I refrained from telling her that the modern expression would be he had a cow, because I liked the original better. Yes, the kine he nearly shat would have fed several clans.
Kevin Hearne
I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital
Kevin Hearne
They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.
Kevin Hearne
Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t believe I have to be politically correct when you’re the only one who can hear me.
Kevin Hearne
What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.
Kevin Hearne
She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.
Kevin Hearne
If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.
Kevin Hearne
Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another one?’ I asked. ‘Oh no,’ Jesus said quietly, his eyes growing round. ‘This is one of those situations where I have to stop and ask myself, what would I do?
Kevin Hearne