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People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.
Kevin Hearne
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Kevin Hearne
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 9
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
AZ
Seems
Obvious
Used
Discovery
Things
Seem
People
Worry
Lasts
Understatement
Last
Ironically
Sense
Worries
Form
Decades
More quotes by Kevin Hearne
You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
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She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five.
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I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.
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He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.
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On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan
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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
Kevin Hearne
But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.
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I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital
Kevin Hearne
Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.
Kevin Hearne
Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.
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Icy glares from vampires are far icier than icy glares from people and when the vampire giving you an icy glare is originally from Iceland, you're confronted with the archetypal origin of the term, and you shouldn't be surprised if your core body temperature drops a few degrees.
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Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.
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They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.
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Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan
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The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.
Kevin Hearne
Granuaile:So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood? Atticus: Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.
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That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” I’ve run into some of those at the dog park, Oberon said. They’re usually attached to Chihuahuas.
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If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.
Kevin Hearne
Winning ugly is still winning.
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... we banked around until we found a rainbow in the dark. It was on this occasion that I discovered that Granuaile had never heard of Ronnie James Dio. My shock at this news was such that I almost completely missed the fact that we were traveling on Bifrost, the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
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