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I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!

Kathy Griffin

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Kathy Griffin
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: November 4
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Kathleen Mary Griffin
Things
Mistakes
Apologies
Time
Constantly
Microphone
Life
Jokes
Microphones
Policy
Apologize
Stage
Apologizing
Mistake
Apology
Real
Joke
Make
Ridiculous

More quotes by Kathy Griffin

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My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
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No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much?
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I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.
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I love to work. I love doing standup.
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But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
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When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.
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I do feel I'm kind of a magnet for crazy, and if there isn't enough crazy, I will insert myself in a situation that I feel has comedy potential.
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So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.
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I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
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I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.
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I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.
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I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.
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I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.
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I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
Kathy Griffin
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I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.
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It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
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The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.
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Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.
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It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.
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Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
Kathy Griffin