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I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

Kathy Griffin

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Kathy Griffin
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: November 4
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Kathleen Mary Griffin
Artist
Tell
Stories
Trying
Make
Inappropriate
People
Jokes
Laugh
Laughing

More quotes by Kathy Griffin

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Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.
Kathy Griffin
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I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.
Kathy Griffin
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I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
Kathy Griffin
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I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.
Kathy Griffin
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I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer that is not my style.
Kathy Griffin
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I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.
Kathy Griffin
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I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!
Kathy Griffin
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I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
Kathy Griffin
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I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!
Kathy Griffin
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Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.
Kathy Griffin
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I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
Kathy Griffin
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It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.
Kathy Griffin
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Why would you want to keep the bluebird houses mounted in a place that you now know is unsafe for them? Bluebirds are not ornaments for pictures, they are living things that deserve your best effort if you are going to be a landlord to them. There is no magic spell that will protect those bluebirds--they have to depend on you or they are doomed.
Kathy Griffin
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Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
Kathy Griffin
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The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.
Kathy Griffin
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I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.
Kathy Griffin
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It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
Kathy Griffin
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When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.
Kathy Griffin
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I have a no-apology policy.
Kathy Griffin
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That's life when you're on the D-list.
Kathy Griffin