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If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

Kathy Griffin

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Kathy Griffin
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: November 4
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Kathleen Mary Griffin
Different
Friday
Saturday
Material
Materials
Night

More quotes by Kathy Griffin

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That's life when you're on the D-list.
Kathy Griffin
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I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer that is not my style.
Kathy Griffin
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When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.
Kathy Griffin
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I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
Kathy Griffin
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My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
Kathy Griffin
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I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.
Kathy Griffin
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Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.
Kathy Griffin
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I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.
Kathy Griffin
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I do feel I'm kind of a magnet for crazy, and if there isn't enough crazy, I will insert myself in a situation that I feel has comedy potential.
Kathy Griffin
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Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it's a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.
Kathy Griffin
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I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
Kathy Griffin
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It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.
Kathy Griffin
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I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!
Kathy Griffin
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I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!
Kathy Griffin
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When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.
Kathy Griffin
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Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.
Kathy Griffin
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I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
Kathy Griffin
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When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!
Kathy Griffin
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Why would you want to keep the bluebird houses mounted in a place that you now know is unsafe for them? Bluebirds are not ornaments for pictures, they are living things that deserve your best effort if you are going to be a landlord to them. There is no magic spell that will protect those bluebirds--they have to depend on you or they are doomed.
Kathy Griffin
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I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
Kathy Griffin