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The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries. 'Yeah, I found everybody.

Kathleen Madigan

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Kathleen Madigan
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: September 30
Comedian
Screenwriter
Florissant
Missouri
Found
Calling
Many
Yeah
Unsolved
Way
Mystery
Scares
Like
Everybody
Mysteries
People
Five
Bus
Lasts
Gross
Last
Sixty
Felt
Scare

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Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me.
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I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
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I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.
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People entertain me more than I entertain them.
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I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another.
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Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!
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