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The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries. 'Yeah, I found everybody.
Kathleen Madigan
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Kathleen Madigan
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: September 30
Comedian
Screenwriter
Florissant
Missouri
Found
Calling
Many
Yeah
Unsolved
Mystery
Scares
Way
Everybody
Mysteries
Like
Five
Bus
People
Lasts
Gross
Last
Sixty
Felt
Scare
More quotes by Kathleen Madigan
I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another.
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I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
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Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!
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I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.
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Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me.
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People entertain me more than I entertain them.
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