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[On Nancy Reagan:] At one photo op press conference, she toured a crack house and decried how awful it was, yet one suspected that for our Drug Czarina it had something to do with a plaid couch.

Kate Clinton

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Kate Clinton
Age: 76
Born: 1947
Born: November 9
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Buffalo
New York
Press
Couch
Awful
Couches
Drug
Photo
Decried
House
Conferences
Plaid
Something
Crack
Toured
Reagan
Suspected
Cracks
Nancy
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Conference

More quotes by Kate Clinton

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I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.
Kate Clinton
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The Administration's policy on women is often hard to see because it is written in the font size of pharmaceutical ads.
Kate Clinton
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Once he became president, George [H.] Bush revealed a vein of Styrofoam and no matter how deep he tried to go, he always ended up bobbing on the surface. His inaugural speech was like being present at the death of language.
Kate Clinton
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Each time we had a visiting writer, I asked what she thought of women and humor. By the end of the year, I had perfected my question and asked Adrienne Rich why there was so little written about women and humor. She looked at me right in the eye and said, 'You write it.' I took that as an order.
Kate Clinton
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Whenever a woman describes herself as a 'post-feminist' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist.
Kate Clinton
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Teaching is performance art.
Kate Clinton
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Gay is when two girls get together, dance and have fun.
Kate Clinton
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A friend told me that each morning when we get up we have to decide whether we are going to save or savor the world. I don't think that is the decision. It's not an either-or, save or savor. We have to do both, save and savor the world.
Kate Clinton
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A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.
Kate Clinton
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What goes for sex goes double for politics.
Kate Clinton
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[On cloning sheep:] Oh great, just what we need - more sheep.
Kate Clinton
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I've always felt that a really good joke, a really good one-liner, is a really good line of poetry. It's imagistic, it's compact, there is a rhythm to it.
Kate Clinton
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Laughter takes the tyranny of the lies we are told and told and told and it blows them apart.
Kate Clinton
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Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'
Kate Clinton
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When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out.
Kate Clinton
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I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.
Kate Clinton
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John Paulk, the poster boy for 'ex-gays' was found in a gay bar in Washington. He said he was there to use the bathroom. But nobody thought to ask him for what.
Kate Clinton
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Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one.
Kate Clinton
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Gays have always been in the military. Alexander the Great was originally Alexander the Fabulous. A gay man invented C-rations. He claims he could never talk anyone into the cilantro garnish. Obviously, gays were not allowed to design the outfits, because we never would have stayed with the earth tones for so long.
Kate Clinton
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As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket.
Kate Clinton